L0gg3D

I am not a God.

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A Virtual Adept’s Manual of Magic:
What not to do (Name pending)
Written by L0gg3D

Foreword
I was told to write a book at some point by a friend. He said that with everything I’d experienced, some of it would be worth writing down. So this one is for you, Anders. Hope I won’t need to fulfil the deal by the time that this “project” is finished. Now, I’ve always had a hard time starting these types of things, so let me ask you a question.Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a god? I didn’t. But I found out anyway. And ever since then, I’ve never felt weaker.Introduction
Be warned, I’m not going to sugarcoat what life as a Reality Hacker / Mage / Wizard / Technocrat / whatever terminology you prefer is like. Death in particular is a common theme that’s going to lurk between each line of both this story as well as your own. Get that through your head if you want to survive in this world. I’m also not a proper author, so I’m just gonna write this the way I see fit.I’m L0gg3D, if you didn't read who wrote this bit of literature. And no, you won’t be getting my real name, or the real names of any of the people involved in my business. It's impolite to ask, what with how much power a name can hold in this world.Considering that my life prior to Awakening isn’t all that interesting, I’m going to keep it brief: My mom died when I was young. My dad remarried after a few years. I got siblings and I loved them, but gradually grew resentful of the attention they got and fucked up my relationship with my parents when that got out. I’ve been working on making it up to my siblings since. They haven’t been told any of this, but I think they’ve got an idea about the situation. They’re bright kids after all. I really should go meet them more often.I’ve always been partial to the digital world and majored in Data Science during university, so that’s probably the reason why I ended up in the camp I’m in right now. Aside from freelancing, making programs and such for minor companies, I got a more stable gig working in IT at a hospital. And that’s about it. Short and simple, right? Great, let’s move on.Chapter 1: Playing God
So, let’s start off by explaining just what I am. Personally I prefer the term Reality Hacker, but the more common term is “Awakened”. A Mage. I’m a person that realized that the world is more malleable than it appears through the help of an Avatar. And as a result I’ve managed to make the world considerably worse than it should be. As for how that happened, I will now tell you.It was the night before New Year’s Eve. I’d picked up all the shifts I could since before Christmas, both for the money (wagecuck as I was) and as an excuse not to come home over the holidays (unfilial son as I am). I’d done this every year since I moved out, so it wasn’t exactly something new. This night was special though. I was working on… something. Frankly I can’t really remember what it was. And it was at this point that I got an internal systems prompt.I was granted administrative access to the entire hospital’s systems.Now, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you, but that isn’t exactly something that should just happen. And yet, in my infinite wisdom, I chalked it up as some sort of a bug. So, with nothing better to do, I started messing around a bit. I made the vending machine on the Xth floor give out drinks for free at some point during the night, dumb shit like that. And, in my hubris, I even changed some of the schedules. Found this nurse who hadn’t taken time off in forever and paged someone to replace her so she could take a few days off. A good deed, right? Well, hindsight is 20/20. So, feeling good about myself, I paused. Only to receive a new message.[ continue. ]A single command, sent by the “administrator”. The boss wasn’t in the office. So I figured he’d connected remotely. But that idea would be squashed as I continued talking to this “administrator”.Whoever they were, they knew what I’d done. And any attempt at tracking them all led back to the same place; my own PC. There were no external sources plugged in. There were no programs that shouldn’t be there. And yet, by all accounts, what was written came from my own keyboard.[ source = no source ]
[ your_intention = true; use responsibly ]Now, the logical choice here should be obvious to you. Call it in and try shutting out whoever this was. But considering they were already this deep in the system, there likely wasn’t anything to do about it. And so, with the excuse of “damage control”, I played along and that’s when they asked that damn question…[ query: do you believe in god? ]I don’t. Not anymore. Not after that night. After what I did next while still riding the high of being a “good samaritan”. They made a request of me. That if I “acted with power” and “made a good change”, they’d answer my questions. And so, I fulfilled the first major fuck-up as an Awakened.There was this kid, his name was Jason. I’m going against the no-name clause of the introduction here, because that’s how important he is to me. He was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension, which gave him difficulty breathing, chest pain, restlessness and the occasional dizzy spells that would render him unconscious. And he was due for surgery in the coming two weeks. Until then, he was hospitalized. And the only reason why he was forced to wait was because of the way our scheduling work, with the start of the year taking a bunch of time to get the ball rolling. So I again played the “good samaritan” and forwarded it to two days later. Simple, easy. I was then made to go up and talk with him sneaking into his room with a doctor’s coat I snatched from laundry to tell him that he was fine. That his surgery got scheduled early. That he was going to live.Then I left him. I walked down the hall and an alarm started blaring. I ran. And by the time I reached my station, I’d received another message. That nurse that I’d sent away earlier? Remember her? She had been the only nurse at that station that night. And only by the time I got back did someone manage to check on whatever was happening. The logs read that someone was sent into cardiac arrest.[ even a god can make mistakes] the administrator said. [and they should know it. ]I wasn’t a god, I said. What god would send someone into cardiac arrest? To that… I suppose I received a fair answer.[ a good god wouldn’t. ]I ran, like a coward. I got home. I got shitfaced and passed out. I dreamt that night; plagued with images of Jason. The way I stood by his bed, proud that I’d “helped” him. The hope that shimmered in his dull, green eyes. Joy that he wouldn’t have to suffer from his condition for much longer. And yet, at the same time, I’d left part of the hospital unsupervised and someone had potentially died as a resultI woke up the next morning expecting the cops at my door. But nothing. I went to meet my family for a few hours, considering it was New Years, but no one came looking for me. I got home and went to bed… And still nothing. No call, no text, no one breaking down my door.I went to work. I clocked in. Nothing out of the ordinary. I went up to Jason’s room… and it was empty. “There was a freak accident.” they said. “The station was empty.”I killed Jason. I gave him hope and then left him for dead. In my messing around, looking for a sense of satisfaction, I snuffed out the remaining life of an innocent kid. And to this day, I’ve walked free of punishment for it. Hell, maybe that’s one of the reasons why I’ve lived through such “interesting” things.I went back to my station again. “administrator” wouldn’t answer me no matter how much I messaged them. And then there was a knock on the door. And, while I didn’t know it at the time, I was about to have my first meeting with a Technocrat. As for what they are, well, I’ll get to that later. And now I’ll get to break the no-name clause once again. Damien Parker. I bet you can’t find anything about him. He doesn’t exist anymore after all. Never did. I remember him though.He came in, spouting stuff about working for a security firm. They’d detected some strange signals from the hospital and as the only IT worker present, he had some questions for me. But I only really remember one of them. “Do you believe in ghosts?” Did I believe in God? Did I believe in ghosts? Something snapped in me. Or maybe it’s better to say that I realized something. The computer screens around the room turned on all at once, seemingly without him noticing. Text spread across them, from one side to the other as he kept talking.[ this man seeks war. ]He was getting worked up, watching me nervously as I grew more tense.[ one final query ]
[ will this god fight a heretic? ]I was angry. Panicking. I was standing there, in front of someone who very clearly knew something more about what was going on than I did. And I didn’t like the way he was looking at me like I was a ticking time bomb, fitting as the analogy is. So I finally spoke up.“I don’t believe in ghosts. And I certainly don’t believe in God. The only thing I believe is right here and right now.” And with one final message-[ then solve it with your own two hands. ]…he pulled a gun on me. As his finger pulled back the trigger, I waved my hand and it fell apart in his hand. “Code Black.” he said into his earpiece before I scattered its electronics into his skull. I was perfectly calm. As if nothing in the world mattered anymore, other than me. And in that stillness, I knew what I had to do. I knew what I could do. So I caught onto the strands of data that connected his earpiece to whoever else was listening and I traced them back. My consciousness scattered into 27 separate parts and simultaneously had them enact the same thing I’d done to Damian, spraying shrapnel into the bodies of 26 people. In that instant I went from a manslaughterer to a mass murderer. And in the next moment, with all of me closing all of their eyes, my sin was erased. Their bodies, their history, their very existences getting deleted from the world. Every single one of them now only exist in my memory.Then, in my serenity, I left. I dove into some of the hospital’s servers, entering Cyberspace. I delved through the endless ones and zeroes in an attempt to escape the thought left behind in the room. And in that binary ocean is where I caused my second fuck-up. A girl appeared before me, offering me a hand, pulling me along to the edge of the space. And for her help, I took a part of her with me once I managed to get out. A single hard drive that would come to dictate my life as an Awakened.And that concludes my little game of playing god.

Chapter 2: Learning to walk
I met with Anders where I got out; a transformation station downtown. In the years to come I would learn a fair bit about him. And if I were to describe him as briefly as possible, it’d be free-spirited but loyal. He’s gotten me out of more pinches than I care to admit. And that all started with that night. He was there to “pick me up”. Had gotten wind that something was gonna happen there that night and, well, that “something” was me. He got it through my skull that what had happened to me was more common than you’d think, as I’m sure you’d know if you’re reading this. Maybe even you had a run-in with your own Damian Lorde, a Technocrat trying to get you onboard with their drivel about how reality should be dictated by them and their needs. Fuck ‘em, I say. I’ve seen enough to know that it all boils down to them wanting to be in control. And anyone who stands in their way, be it Awakened, Lycanthropes, Kindred or even Fae, they’re just a patch of grass to be mowed down on their lawn. The only good Technocrats are ones that don’t want to be Technocrats anymore.Anders, noticing my technological inclination towards Reality Hacking, took me to meet with Abyss. And without them, I wouldn’t be writing this right now. They taught me the basics; spheres, factions, Nightfolk, you name it. And through them I was introduced to Euler and got to join the Virtual Adepts. Abyss and Euler, if you’re reading this, thank you. For teaching me and for accepting me in spite of what I’ve done. Just figured I needed to get that out there.My first meeting with Abyss was an interesting one for sure. Picture me this: a person laying in a bathtub full of ice, wearing a VR headset with an unplugged toaster under their arm in order to “trick the dead” into thinking they were one of them so that they could traverse Cyberspace. That’s the person I learnt the basics from. That as long as it made sense to me, there’s a chance I’d be able to make it work. Of course, doing something ridiculous also prompts retaliation from the world. With Technocrats manipulating Common Consensus, which basically dictates what is and isn’t magic, going against Consensus by, let’s say picking an ice cube out from a photo and making its shape permanent in spite of temperature invokes a backlash of sorts. Like making the ice cube burn hot enough that you’d think it had been on a stove for too long. Abyss sure seemed amused by the yelp I let out back then.The thing that interested both them and Euler the most though was definitely the hard drive. An ornate thing that would make you think it’s an old tome of sorts before realizing it’s electronic. A hard drive containing more information than it feasibly should. And type of information that no one should have access to. Millions of files, ranging from instruction manuals, literature and even chat logs from any site you can imagine. Euler, brilliant as he is, couldn’t determine what it was. All I knew is that it didn’t belong to me. I was told as much.The girl from whom I’d taken the thing appeared to me in a dream the next day. In a garden of ones and zeroes she told me I had taken something of hers before bluescreening the entire thing. My head still buzzes when I think of it. But at least it gave me a bit of direction.The next day I went to meet with Abyss, hoping they’d have a way of tracking this girl down. And while they tried, no leads came up in Cyberspace. Even though that was the place I’d met the girl twice.Then there was a knock on the door. With Abyss still diving, I went to open up and he was just… standing there. A kid with a grin on his lips and a baseball bat slung over his shoulder, was asking about “wirefiends”. Tim Jacques was his name and he was the first Hunter I’d have the displeasure of meeting.Technocrats aside, Hunters are likely the worst thing you have to deal with as an Awakened. Seemingly normal people that, for their own reasons, hate the supernatural with such a burning passion that they’re capable of feats that make them the type of people to walk into a den of Kindred with an iron pipe and walk back out drenched in blood, none of which is their own. And here was one, so blatantly claiming to be one in front of me.But contrary to his bright smile, his head didn’t seem equally bright. It didn’t take much to get him to leave. A simple “no, there’s no wirefiends here” and he was on his way. But knowing that some Hunters are capable of tearing Lycanthropes apart even with their bare hands… Well, I’m not sure how big of a bullet I dodged by getting him to leave. And with Abyss’ apartment compromised, I let them in to stay at my place for some time.That night the girl appeared before me again, this time in a movie. She was being hunted by something. And it was angry at her for losing what I had taken from her. I called in Anders to help me find someone that might be able to help track her. And the next morning, I would gain insight.Chapter 3: Gaining purpose
[ THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS INFORMATION WHICH REMAINS RESTRICTED UNTIL THE DISSOLUTION OF THE CONTRACT OF THE CONFERENCE OF CZĘSTOCHOWA. ]
I asked Anders to find me an expert on ████████████████ insight ████████████ Hospital███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I thought about Jason. “This was supposed to be the ceiling he’d be looking up to…” ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I found myself in a void. ████████████████ The stars were looking at me. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ “I’msorryI’msorryImsorryfuckfuckFUCK!!!” █████████████████████ I DIDN’T MEAN TO I PROMISE!███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ She was there. Her name was June O██████████████████
███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I promised her I’d help. That I’d get her out. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ The Beast███████████████████████████████ It howls. My brain feels like static. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ The stars gave chase. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████I woke up. And together with Anders, I went home. I talked to Abyss. And through them I figured it out. I had broken June’s Avatar. I had broken the core of her magic. The hard drive was a shard of it and I was going to have to fix it.Chapter 4: Cleaning up
Four days. In four days I had everything I’d known turned upside down. In four days I’d been put through life and death. And in the final hours of my fourth day I would be forced to accept the necessity of finishing what I started. I received a text from Anders. There were Hunters that had somehow found out about a certain security firm. One which no longer existed in the world. That much I’d made sure of.One moment I waltzed into the dimly lit warehouse they were holed up in. And in the next, I felt cold steel to my neck. Edmund and Bane, mentor and protege. I confessed my “sin”. That I was the reason ███████████ Security no longer existed. That they left me no choice when they threatened my life. A pathetic plea filled with hypocrisy, looking back at it. I swore I wouldn’t do so again, but I couldn’t blame his distrust. His disposition was another matter however. He spoke plainly; that my mere existence was a blight on the world. That the mere possibility of “evil” rendered me and anyone near my an existence that needed to be undone.He pointed to the bodybag behind him; it already contained one such existence. A nosferatu woman who’d lived her unlife from bloodbag to bloodbag without ever hurting so much as a fly. Her thirst, which hadn’t even been her choice, was her one and only sin. And that was enough for him. And the single reason he’d let me live was to keep me talking. To profile not just me, but those I associated with. So that they’d be hunted down to. Reaching an understanding hadn’t been possible from the beginning.With a single gesture from me, Anders rained down bullets from the ceiling. Two pierced through Edmund’s skull before he charged at me. I unloaded a single shot into some nearby barrels. And I determined the uncertainty of their contents to be explosive gas. The shrapnel pierced Edmund’s lungs, knocking him to the ground and rendering Bane permanently crippled, taking out his legs. To this day, I’m still unsure of why I left him alive as I grabbed the body bag and left, delivering the remains of the woman to her people.Chapter 5: Ascending the algorithm
That night I didn’t sleep. I wasn’t allowed to.
Instead, I was to meet with my “source”.
I drifted into a universe where “I” was the only constant. Where “I” was the sole determining force of everything and nothing. And yet the moment I wouldn’t play along with Administrator’s “lesson”, I would be shot in the face.As you might have gathered from my earlier comment, Administrator was my Avatar. The very core of my magic. And the core of my regret. Some have favorable relationships with their Avatars, but I’m not one of them. And as for what they think of me, they couldn’t care less. All that matters to them is my potential. The possibility of becoming the First God of their Algorithm. And for that purpose, I’m but one of their countless iterations, simultaneously running through their simulation.Whether I join the Technocracy and kill all those I might otherwise have gotten to know or become a wandering Marauder doesn’t matter to them as long as I achieve Ascension. I’m insignificant in their eyes. The universe means nothing. It’s a mere simulation for them. And, much as I hate to admit, that thought keeps me grounded. My problem are only my own, and only by dealing with them can I prove my existence and grow to matter in the grand scheme of things. And only by growing to matter can I eventually grow beyond the capacity of the Administrator and make them understand just why picking me was their greatest mistake. I know you’re aware of this. I’m coming for you. And I know you won’t stop me. Because that is exactly what you wish for.By the Administrator’s “lesson” finished, three days had passed. I remember Abyss’ shocked face as I sat up on the couch. And just how different the world seemed. Whether I liked it or not, the way I saw everything was permanently altered. I had come one step closer to perfect optimization. And with a renewed purpose, it was time to fix what I had broken. It was time for the initiation of the Avatar Reunification Project.Chapter 6: Reaching insight
They helped me find people to assist in the project. I won’t speak further on the subject. They’ll know. And that isn’t my battle.And for the record, I still haven’t found anyone else who knows your name. So take solace in that, ███████.Chapter 7: The Crows
Don’t listen to them.
They’ll pick you apart when you’re at your weakest.
When you’re at the crossroads of standing back up and remaining on the ground.
They will try to drag you under.
You cannot let them.
Do not let them make you wave the flag of surrender.
Do not listen to The Crows.Chapter 8: Gathering allies (yay)
[ THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS INFORMATION WHICH REMAINS RESTRICTED UNTIL THE DISSOLUTION OF THE CONTRACT OF THE CONFERENCE OF CZĘSTOCHOWA. ]
Euler sent me away to ████ where I’d first meet with ███████████. What I’d imagined would be a tug of war in terms of getting this potential new ally to join ended up being a quite short conversation. With the image of technocrats I’d painted from my former interactions with them, ████ didn’t fit the mold in the slightest. He didn’t pull a gun on me to start with, nor did he interrogate me like █████. He just heard me out as I made my desperate plea of help. And at the end of it he agreed, if only because of the fact that he was tired of the constrictions of the Technocracy. But, of course, things weren’t gonna go that easy.The reason for his isolation was an overutilization of magic. He’d accrued too much Paradox and in doing so, he’d been locked away from society, from instruments that would allow him to enact his magic. And to ensure he wouldn’t be able to do anything even if he managed to get his hand on anything, they’d placed a cuff ring of Primium around his spine. A metal alloy made to ensure that magic cannot exist near its space. Meaning that as long as he had it on him, not only would we be unable to be brought back by Euler, but he also wouldn’t be able to partake in the project. So without a way to leave unnoticed, that left one choice; removing it.Calling in favors from Anders, the former army medic, to guide me through impromptu surgery while Euler sent over equipment and Abyss scoured the Avatarchive for surgical manuals, I spent the coming six hours practicing on mannequins and cadavers, all culminating in me standing in front of ████ on a table, face down and put under. He played the role of patient and I played the role of surgeon and anaesthesiologist.I remember the first incision the most; the feeling of his flesh parting beneath my scalpel and the scent of pooling blood. I’ve always had steady hands and my theoretical knowledge was nothing to sneeze at, but surgery as my first major medical procedure? That’s a bit bold for my blood. Even more so without the capability of using magic to guide my hands.Revealing his spine and seeing the cuff ring, I knew that I’d only be able to remove it by working through the bone and slipping it off. And with the slightest mistake, I could have rendered the man paralyzed. And yet, I didn’t.Slipping it off and throwing it to the side, I closed the man up and had successfully finished my first and, thus far, only operation. With a quick call to Euler, we were brought back home and I finally got to orally evacuate my lunch.I didn’t let myself rest for long however. We needed one final person to make the puzzle fit, and that person was Cobalt and/or Sapphire. Someone whose paradigm melded well enough with us of the Virtual Adepts that they’d be able to join the project. And so I went to visit.Cobalt and/or Sapphire is a famous Mage of my circles, especially those my age. They’re basically at the center of the social circle and through them the amount of people I’ve met has grown exponentially. And it all started with their condition for joining the project; simply to spend the night at their club. They could tell that in the state I was then, I would sooner fall apart than be able to hold the “ritual” necessary to bring June back. And so I did what I do best in order to relax. Me, Abyss and their friends all got high together. And I’m pretty sure that the only reason I didn’t OD that night was because while in their club, you literally can’t. I spent the night. I talked to people. I remember saying something about “being able to do five guys”, whatever I meant by that. And at the end of the night, I talked with Administrator again. Maybe because of the drugged out trance I was in I’d been able to get high enough to get into contact with them. All I’ve got to say about that is that The Cult of Ecstasy is one weird group, but they’re at least good people. So with my mind cleared, the day after we assembled at noon.

Chapter 9: Death and Birth
[ THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS INFORMATION WHICH REMAINS RESTRICTED UNTIL THE DISSOLUTION OF THE CONTRACT OF THE CONFERENCE OF CZĘSTOCHOWA. ]
So there we were, gathered in one room. Euler, Cobalt and/or Sapphire, Abyss, me and ████. And with our combined Spheres, we tore a hole from this world into the vast beyond. ████ acted as the gateway, using his tech and knowledge of the Umbras to connect to June through the Gauntlet. Abyss acted as his “firewall”, ensuring he wouldn’t be possessed by the Spirits from beyond while he reached. Euler did the calculations of our location in comparison with June’s, ensuring that they’d overlap. Cobalt and/or Sapphire kept our minds linked so we wouldn’t slip out of harmony. And me? I had the simple job of merging the physical Avatarchive with The Beast.████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ everything felt ethereal, like nothing was real. Like everything was real. ████████████
███████ and at the very center of ███████ she appeared. June, looking weak. She’d been running for all this time. ████ upped the power and █████████████████████████████████████████████████ The Beast looked upon me and ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████“Without competition there won’t be any progress.” I said. “Watch in awe.” The Beast responded. I shoved the Avatarchive into it. I watched it take on the pieces scattered about the space. And then it leapt into June.She was s̵̙̞̪̭̐̚̚ą̵̩͖͉͔͛͌̍͗̑́̚͝v̵͈̙̻̘̠͎͉̣̭͑̀̽͋̿̉e̸̡͎͔̭͖̲̣͇͂̽͌d̸͔͉̱͈͖̻̦͔̏̇͜͝.[ ITERATION(FALSE)]
[RECONSTRUCTING ENTRY ]“Without competition there won’t be any progress.” I said. “Watch in awe.” it responded. I shoved the Avatarchive into it. And as it was about to take in all of it… something happened. I caught a glimpse of it, a sliver of resonance mixed into it. And that was enough cause for rejection.The energy that was unleashed blew us all away. The gateway went unstable and June, stuck between realspace and metaspace, was torn apart. ████, still recovering from surgery, couldn’t handle the eruption of energy. And The Beast, as if having anticipated the loss of its vessel in June, leapt into him. In that moment, all my careful planning and hard work had fallen apart. I had failed.Chapter 10: The Aftermath
[ THE FOLLOWING IS INFORMATION IS RESTRICTED UNTIL THE DISSOLUTION OF THE CONTRACT OF THE CONFERENCE OF CZĘSTOCHOWA AS WELL AS THE NEUTRALIZATION OF “THE CROWS”. ]In the weeks that followed, I went to Poland. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ an alliance between the Void Engineers of the Virtual Adepts █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Parareal Truth Terminality, AKA “Death of False”. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████ as the one who caused the death of Ė̵͎̯͈̹̈̓z̷̧̢̛͈̟͌r̴͎͙̎̂͘͠a̵̘͚̤͇̮̣͇͔̝̎̾͗͝ ̴̡̱̭̒̑͠K̴̛͙͖̺͖̹͍̞̃̌̏̿́͂̍̈͘ͅl̵͕̰̲̜̤̹͇̞͒̓̓͑̌̐͋͛̎̚ě̸̡̥͕̪̜̺͎̈i̴̱͂̈͋͑͛̔͊͛͑̍ͅṅ̷̡͕̮̥̫̒̒̎e̸̹̪̩͘, and the consequential birth of the “Death of False”. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Euler vouched for my character and Abyss for my dedication to finishing what I started. They claimed I would be an asset. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ They locked me away and took The Avatarchive. █████████████████████ They couldn’t make it work. It was a part of my Pattern at this point. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I was released and put under “surveillance”. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████Around 2 weeks later, while doing some work for Euler, I met with Arthur. A good man, determined and goal oriented. We got along well and saw eye to eye on many things, despite how significantly different we viewed our Realities.As a result we started working ̴̥̭̼̠̹̦̝̫̐t̴̘͚͉͇̐͑͒̿͛̚̚͜͝o̴͖͓͈̩͌g̸̢͈̲͍͍͎̩̝̲͂̿͌e̷̤̘̮̎̓̽̉͗͑͆̃͆t̴̺̼̞͕͓͍̩̋̾̂̒̊͘͜e̸̢̦͕̞̺̎͐̋̽͗̉̆͂h̴̠̙͍̮̺̦̞͛̇r̸̨̟͆̓̂̇͝.[ ITERATION(FALSE) ]
[ RECONSTRUCTING ENTRY ]His paradigm differed too greatly to be of help for the mission. We exchanged contacts. I’ve heard he’s become a big deal in the occult societies of Mages in London since those days. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had ended up working more closely with him. But what’s the point in thinking about “what-ifs”?My work continued, with Euler’s guidance, Abyss’ support and the funding of the Void Engineers. It was late one night while I was studying their weapons, making them “mine”. In my hand I held a Biggs X-5 Model R Protector, probably one of the most devastating handguns that I’d ever seen. And as I inspected it, I heard something in the back of my mind. And I turned off the safety.I recognized this pattern. It was late at night. I’d overworked myself. I’d failed something I set out to do and in doing so created an even bigger threat for me to subdue. And The Crows had not failed to notice. “I didn’t take the easy way out last time. Don’t think I will this time either.” I told them. I taunted them. “But that’s the thing…” they responded. “It would be soooo easy~” In the next moment I pointed the barrel to my head.I mustered all of my will in that moment and p̴̣͉̦̪̭͙͚͕̳͂̈́̎̍̂͝ṟ̴̱͓̘̊i̵̪̫̲̺̪̇̊̽̀̉̈́̚͜͝ͅe̴̛̱̫͖͎͎͐͂̓̋͒̈́̚͠ḑ̵̺̙̻̟̱̥̼͝ ̷̱̟̠̝͉̣̣͈̯͒̐͊̿̃̊̿̃̌͝ţ̸̨̙̳̭͙̭̿̏̑̃͜͠h̶͖̘̬̮͑͋̔ẽ̵̟͒̈́͒̑ ̷̟̘͉̲̻̦͐̋͊͒͑͊̚̚ͅğ̵̨͓̦̪̭̭͈̭͎͙̓̾́̓͠ư̵̢̨͈̹̩̯̜̜̣̓̅̂ṋ̵̯͙͐̍́͜ ̸̦̼̹͓̄̓̅͆̈̾̚á̵̝̣̈̚w̸̧̦͉͍̟͈̲̭̓͌̄̔̈́͆͛̈́̚͝ä̷̩́̌y̸̡̙̅̏̊.[ ITERATION(FALSE) ]
[ RECONSTRUCTING ENTRY ]I woke up at Euler’s place. Abyss was crying beside me. Cobalt breathed a sigh of relief. I had stood up to The Crows. And I had paid the price. And yet, in that moment, all I could think about was their tears. The way they streamed down their cheeks. The way they stained my shoulder. The way Abyss thanked God that I wasn’t dead. A bitter feeling. If it was God’s choice that I had lived, then why hadn’t June?But the worst part about this was that nagging feeling… Or rather, the absence of one. Abyss had flashed before my eyes in those final moments. The times we’d eaten out together. The times we’d play games. When we’d figure out the Avatarchive. And maybe most fondly when we’d made ravioli together. I still couldn’t listen to Disco Punks on Jolt without my face burning up. I had realized in that moment that what I felt for them was something more than what a friend felt for another friend. And yet that feeling was gone.By the time a Void Engineer physician showed up, I had my answer. The shot, while mostly healed thanks to Cobalt’s intervention, had dealt irreversible damage. Not on a physical level, but something higher. The Crows, the lords of surrender, death of ambition, had killed the part of me that “felt”.In the days to come, the Void Engineers implanted a device in my head, something for me to regulate my own brain chemistry so that I would function normally in theory. But answer me this, if you found yourself in a state where you’d consciously decide your emotions, whether you’d feel a surge of excitement at the idea of something great that might advance your cause, the annoyance of having to start something over and over again, or even the faintest bit of joy at the idea that you were going to meet with a friend… would you feel “normal” if those emotions were brought on by your own will?It wasn’t long after that when I finally had Abyss move out. Whenever I fed into the idea of “love”, it would overwhelm me. And whenever I didn’t, the absence of anything ate away at me. Looking back at it with objective eyes, something that’s become quite easy for me since, I’m fairly sure that they felt the same as I did. Their pained eyes and gentle touches whenever I’d break down spoke volumes. But perhaps that’s just wishful thinking that’s rooted itself too deeply in my moments of subjectivity.Chapter 9: Looking back
So yeah, that’s my life's story.It feels strange to think that a mere half a decade ago, I was just another Sleeper. Working a dead-end job, living with minimal connection to the world that I felt didn’t hate me, but simply didn’t care that I existed. And since then I’ve fucked up more than I imagine most people who ended up in my situation did. One day to “defend myself” by erasing 28 people. Three to decide that the life of someone else was in my hands. Four to make the active decision that someone had to die. A week to take a step towards Godhood. Two weeks to create a scourge upon the world. And five years, half a decade, to build myself from the ground up to become someone that maybe, just might be able to fix the shit he caused as a bright-eyed, overconfident idiot that didn’t know what he was getting himself into.I’ve fucked up since and I’m going to fuck up again, but at least I can live with the truth of this; even if I try, I’ll never manage to fuck up more severely than through the death of June Oakley and Ezra Kleine. And only through cleaning up after myself will I be able to let The Crows take me, unless I get to them first.But, of course, even should this iteration of me fail, I know that at least one of me won’t. I am insignificant. But the idea of me isn’t. And if there’s any lesson you want to take away from my story, I hope that it’s just that.

[ END OF ENTRY REACHED ]
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Attributes

Backgrounds & other traits
Arcane / Cloaking ⦿⦿⦿⦿⦾
Resulting from the action of "deleting" the mess he made during his awakening, Logan received the innate ability of Arcane, also known as Cloaking. He has an uncanny way of simply disappearing, both out of sight and out of mind. His existence melds with the world's so long as he doesn't attract attention to himself and any details you gleam from a meeting with him blurs until you meet him again. That is unless he deems you trustworthy enough to remember him in full.
Records, pictures and even memories of him are few and hard to find.Avatar / Genius ⦿⦾⦾⦾⦾
His "relationship" with his Avatar is a strained one at the best of times. Despite its supposed power, it isn't willing to grant that power freely. Each step toward Ascension, towards Optimization, is something that needs to be earned by Logan and Logan alone. Only through his own efforts will he become the God of the Administrator's algorithm.
A notable presence which allows him to expend one point of Quintessence.Certification ⦿⦿⦿⦿⦾
Thanks to his contract with the Void Engineers, Logan has been granted a few liberties that few are granted. Most important of these is a conceal-carry permit and a license as a Private Investigator, which allows him to get away with operating in the grey area of the law.Library ⦿⦿⦿⦿⦿⦿⦿⦿⦾⦾
The Avatarchive.
The source of all his troubles and an unkind reminder to his greatest failure, yet simultaneously his greatest asset. Born from a shard of June's Avatar, containing any information you may even conceive to think about.
He has full access to the equivalent of a national archive. Add Library rating to any Research & Knowledge rolls.Resources ⦿⦿⦿⦾⦾
He lives comfortably, what with the contracts that he regularly takes on from the Technocratic Union. While he doesn't enjoy working with them, they at least pay well enough. Suppose working with the people running the world has its perks?
He can sustain himself indefinitely, so long as he keeps his spending to a minimum.Hypertech ⦿⦿⦿⦿⦾
Initially finding blueprints and the like in the Avatarchive, Logan's studies into the advanced Hypertech of the Technocratic Union surged thanks to the Contract of the Conference of Częstochowa. He specializes in weaponry dealing with supernatural entities.What he's used most by far however is no weapon, but rather the Selective Endocrine Emotion-Regulator, aka SEER. A little device that allows him to self-regulate his brain chemistry. Ever since his last run-in with The Crows, leaving him emotionally crippled by minimizing the effects hormones has on his brain, it's been essential for him to feel anything. He typically keeps it running low; enough to ensure a clear mind of logical thought and minimum emotional interference. But to maintain an image of "humanity", he typically regulates it throughout conversation.Willpower
⦿⦿⦿⦿⦿⦾⦾⦾⦾⦾
The willpower of a perfectly (read: painfully) average individual. Nothing to write home about.Merits
Light Sleeper
Honed from long nights of working (and gaming, when he was younger), Logan only requires 4 hours of sleep a night in order to function like a "normal" person. His Union-prescribed psychiatrist typically suggests he doesn't abuse this for prolonged periods.Computer Adept
He's a whiz with computers. It's the source of his Paradigm - his very understanding of magic.
Reduce the difficulty of Computer-related rolls by 2.Inner Strength
From his repeated interactions with various Nightfolk with the capability to completely overwhelm the wills of others, he's built up a minor form of resistance. Though it's mostly through sheer spite.
Reduce the difficulty of Willpower rolls by 2. Only applicable while struggling against overwhelming odds.Flaws
Addiction (Various)
His addiction started with painkillers. After an accident where he broke his leg in his late teens, he got the vice in popping pain killers. Since the death of June, he's spiraled. Rarely does a day go by without one substance or another entering his system, partially since he doesn't have to "regulate" his own emotions when the substances does it for him.Trust Issues
Stemming from his meeting with ███████, he learned to not trust people just because they seem outwardly helpful. Everyone has their secrets, and he prefers finding out about them.Dark Secret
Despite how much death he's caused since his Awakening, to him it doesn't compare to the shame of Jason. He hates thinking about him. And talking about him even more so. But even so, he won't ever let himself forget about that kid. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he were to forget him.Family Issues
He never made up with his parents after their major fight in his mid-teens. He didn't apologize for what he said, nor did they. The only thing keeping them in contact are his younger half-siblings; Sara (19) and Eric (17). And even when they were kids, it seems like they knew better than to ask why him and their parents were at odds with one another.
They've maintained a fragile balance for the past 13 years.

Paradigm
Everything is Data

Paradigm; A system of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality.Paradigm is something each individual holds; a view of how the world around them works at its most basic and advanced levels. Through the process of Awakening, a Sleeper gains the ability to enforce their own Paradigm upon the world around them. And in Logan's case, it's quite simple; the world itself is a program for him to take advantage of. He's a Reality Hacker.But just what constitutes reality? A great question with a simple answer: Consensus, or as Logan would call it, The Datastream. The collective beliefs of every person in the world. Their subconscious is what keeps the datastream constantly flowing. And working against the flow of the stream typically results in Paradox.In layman's terms, Paradox is reality itself striking back against the Mage for trying to change it. And by accruing enough Paradox, a Mage just might end up blowing himself up due to his own inconsistency with Reality, or worse, meet a Paradox Spirit. But going into those will take a whole section on its own, so let's put those to the side.So, since most Mages don't want to blow up, how do they use their magic without dying? Well, if they survive their Awakening and find people to teach them, then it's quite simple really! Just make it seem like a coincidence. Make people believe that it's something "normal".Teleporting something into your hand? Vulgar magic, you get Paradox.
Pulling something out of your pocket? No one can prove you didn't have anything there. Surely a coincidence, no Paradox.Now, these are just the limitations to keep in mind when enacting your choice in Magic. So how does Logan view Magic? Again, a simple answer: Code. Each person, each object, existence itself, it's all just a bundle of information determining their state. And by rewriting that information he can make it suit his own purposes.

Arete
⦿⦿⦿⦿⦿⦾⦾⦾⦾⦾Spheres

Correspondence
Connections and Dimensions
Distance is relative and connections are determined by data. By manipulating properties, connections can be created and severed with the ease of a breath. By overlapping one space with another, distance can be rendered to nil.Correspondence is the sphere with which Logan has the most experience, simply because of its versatility. Immediate Spatial Perceptions, Remote Sensing, Tracking; anything that has to do with "space" and "connections", even metaphysical ones, are at his mercy.His most prominent use of it is teleportation; both of himself and the tools at his disposal. Search him all you want, he'll always be able to pull out his signature Protector from his pocket.At his current level of mastery, he's capable of teleporting people other than himself, rend space to create gateways to other locations and even co-locate himself to separate spaces. Thanks to his recent addition of Life, these co-located iterations of him are capable of acting independently.Entropy
Chance and Mortality
With enough data, anything can be predicted. Bugs can be spotted and patched before they become a problem and weaknesses, no matter how minute, can be exploited.At its very core, the Sphere of Entropy is a Sphere of prediction, or as seers would call it, Fate. It's really nothing quite so fancy. It's merely a matter of knowing what you're dealing with. Once you do that, nothing it does can come as a surprise.At his current level of mastery, he can only himself act on the information provided by the Sphere's predictions; not directly affect probability itself.Life
The Living Form
Strands of backbone, spiraling into a helix, bridged by layer upon layer of genetic information. That is what all living things are made of. That "code" determines not only structure, but function.As the most recent addition to his arsenal, Life is the Sphere he has the least experience with, both practically and in theory. Few Virtual Adepts deign to fiddle with their own code after all.For Logan's purposes it was a necessity however, in order to co-locate himself throughout the multiverse so that his hunt could be more efficient.At his current level of mastery he's capable of affecting lesser lifeforms; insects, mollusks, plants and even virus and bacteria, molding them to his will. He may even change them from one form to another; from an apple into spider and vice versa.Additionally, he may target another living being's "Life" in order to invoke damage in them through different means.But the more useful capabilities of the Sphere is that he's capable of healing himself and others from most types of injury as well as altering his own Pattern to turn himself into a completely different person or grow claws, gills and the like. He's begun to master the definition of what's "human".Matter
Shaping the Materials
The physical world is all mere objects containing data which determines all that they are capable of. By manipulating the data of an object, you can turn a solid into gas, shape diamond with your bare hands or even erase matter itself from existence and its reverse.Matter was a more important Sphere to Logan in his early life as a Mage. Improving the offensive capabilities of weapons, increasing his survivability by turning his clothes bulletproof and the like- without it he wouldn't have lived as long as he has. These days however, he primarily uses it in order to help him assemble various gadgets for him to use.At his current level of mastery, he's capable of perfectly understanding an object at a glance; its composition, structure other properties. He's able to affect these properties in various simple ways, such as altering their state from one to the other and molding their shape. These effects remain temporary unless he makes use of Quintessence to change the deeper Pattern of the object; the very essence of what makes an object what it is.Mind
Art of Consciousness
Thoughts are the code on which all creatures run; what determines any and all actions they will take in life. One merely needs to peer into the datastream to glimpse said code.Mind is quite self explanatory when it comes to the Spheres; it deals with the functions of people's very thoughts, both Logan's own and other people's.His preferred usage of the Sphere typically pertains to his own mind; shielding it from mind-reading and effects which would aim to control him or his emotions as well as increasing his own mental faculties to borderline inhuman levels.At his current level of mastery, the most he can achieve is reading the surface level thoughts of others and create empathic bonds between people. And while it's not something which he makes use of often, he can create "impressions" within the minds of others, letting him nudge people's thoughts in a certain direction.Prime
Essence of all Things
The fuel of all Patterns, the energy of the universe; that is what Prime touches upon. Without understanding of its functions, any change made in the world is temporary. Seek permanence.The most esoteric of the Spheres, the teachings of Prime is that which Logan struggles the most to understand. Even with the assistance of Euler, an Archmage of the Sphere with a similar Paradigm to Logan, he's not been eager to tread further upon the path of Prime, remaining comfortable with his current level of mastery.At his current level of mastery, he's capable of perceiving the universal energies of Prime and absorb them into himself, which then can be used to fuel his spells and creations of other Spheres. In addition, he's capable of viewing the Patterns of objects and individuals, giving him a deeper understanding of them.Spirit / Extradimensional Science
Art of the Otherworlds
Beyond Conventional Space lies mathematical shadows of Reality called Umbral Dimensions. Some close by, like servers neatly stacked on top of one another, rarely exchanging data. Others lie upon the Horizon, beyond the connection range of most. Each of these operates under its own set of rules; its own data, some compatible and others less so. But in the end the power of these spaces are mere code waiting to be translated and restructured.The Spirit Sphere is the one which has served his purposes best in the hunt for "Death of False" and "The Crows". Since his knowledge of the Sphere based on the teachings of the Technocratic Union, he's more familiar with calling it "Extradimensional Science".Though the dimensions which he has access to are too many to count, most of his time interacting with just one; Cyberspace, the metaphysical space of the internet and all things "connected" through it.While mentally delving through it allows for him to more easily draw in information on his mission and gives him the ability to personally breach any system that runs on data, his most impressive accomplishment are definitely his Data Daemons.Through the usage of Correspondence's co-location, Mind's mental link and Spirit's ability of manipulating spiritual entities, Logan has successfully multiplied his consciousness into entities which are constantly scouring the internet for any mention of the "Death of False".Logan's current level of mastery has plateaued when it comes to Spirit. Through rending the Gauntlet, he can link up with the Umbras; the closer realms of Reality, and even enter into them. But even the further realms aren't beyond his grasp by Venturing Beyond the Horizon, something he only recently managed for the first time. The Horizon Realms may just hold Code to help him in his mission after all.Through deals or force he can bind PLEs (Post-Life Entitiy) and EDEs (Extra Dimensional Entity) to his will, heal them, harm them or even destroy and create new ones. Their versatility is essential for his purposes.But most importantly for his goals is "Gilgul". The act of separating a Mage and their Avatar, subsequently destroying it. A base requirement for his final goal of ending "Death of False".There's much left for him to learn. But to go beyond a rating of 5 for a Mage is the same type of leap as a Sleeper Awakening into a Mage.

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My portrayal of Logan is the alternate timeline of an original character from a Mage: The Ascension-game I've been playing for a bit over a year.The account will be verseless considering the lack of World of Darkness-based accounts, but the logic behind MtAs' magic system will remain in the way I play him, regardless of which verse he "visits", meaning he'll be more limited in more grounded verses, and less limited in high-magic or sci-fi settings. As he's based on a tabletop game, he's subject to my own interpretations in manners of how certain in-game abilities work.This character will also act as a bit of a "project" wherein I'll gradually level him up as I play him, with an average experience-gain of 4 points per week that I'm active, adding more depending on what situations he gets himself into.If you've read the "Notes" section of this carrd, or are familiar with the World of Darkness, you probably have an idea about the themes that I will touch upon with this account. But I'll still list some of them below regardless as a "content warning". Just know that I will be breaching themes that may not be easily digested by everyone.As for lewd/smut, while I'm not opposed, considering Logan's personality it will require a great deal of chemistry and will ONLY occur in DMs as I prefer keeping my timeline clean for people who don't wish to engage with such topics.

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L0gg3D: [ hello [READER]. ]
L0gg3D: [ you shouldn’t have seen this yet. sit tight. ]
L0gg3D: [ i’m on the way. ]

WARNING
DAEMONS AT YOUR FIREWALL.
SYSTEM BREACH: IMMINENT

BREACH DETECTED.

your_system = l0gg3d> Hello. Don’t you know it’s rude to peek?

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